Back to work...

Unfortunately, my maternity leave has come to an end and I return to work full-time tomorrow (yes, on a Friday so I can ease back into it). I originally was scheduled to return on April 7th but just couldn't bring myself to part with Lauren, so I extended my leave another month. I wish I could do that again, but I can't. Luckily, I will work for six weeks and then have the summer off to spend with her.

I am absolutely dreading tomorrow. It's not that I don't want to see my students or be at school anymore--it's simply because I don't want to be apart from Lauren. I can count on one hand how many times I've been apart from Lauren since she was born. Some people might think I should've left her in other people's care a little more often so she could get used to it, but I just couldn't bring myself to leave her very often. I wish I could bring her with me to work :)

We have found a wonderful stay-at-home mom, Christa, to watch Lauren for us in her own home. Her daughter is in my class this year and she also has a 2-year-old son who will be home with her. She'll be watching Lauren full-time in the fall and two days per week for the rest of this school year. My mom will come to our house and watch Lauren the other three days per week for the rest of this school year.

I know Lauren will be in good hands with Christa and with my mom but it's not the same as being with her mommy. I hope she doesn't feel like I'm abandoning her. My greatest concern is that Christa won't be able to comfort her if she's scared or hurting. She just doesn't know Lauren that well yet. Think of us tomorrow. There will probably be tears when we separate from one another in the morning and I suspect they won't just be Lauren's....