An Eviction Notice!

We just returned from another doctor appointment. This time, we learned that I am 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced. Also, the doctor said he touched the baby's head with his fingertip while he was examining me. Then he shared with us that he'll only let me go until next Monday before he will insist on inducing me. So...based on a 7a.m. induction appointment for next Monday, January 14, I felt that the following notice needed to be issued:

January 7, 2008

Baby Steighner:

Please note that this Thursday is January 10, which, as you have been orally reminded for several months now, is the "Due Date" referenced in the lease that you agreed to approximately nine months ago, and thus the date by which you are supposed to vacate your current premises. Following a routine inspection of the property this afternoon, I have been advised that you have not made very many preparations towards moving.

Please note that, if your departure continues at this pace, you will be in violation of the lease, which was entered into in good faith, with the expectation that you would honor its terms. Accordingly, I have no choice but to advise you that if you do not voluntarily remove yourself from the premises within the next 7 days, I will have no choice but to commence formal eviction proceedings, and I have already put the proper authorities on notice. As you have been repeatedly advised, your new accommodations are in fact ready and awaiting your arrival, so your cooperation in voluntarily moving out of the current premises, avoiding the time and inconvenience of more formal, compelled proceedings, would be much appreciated. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,
The Landlord